I am stressed. Stress isn't even the word. I am lost in the stress.
My sons surgery went well. He was back to his same old self about 3 hours home from the hospital.
Finals are done. Although I start my last pre req on Monday and it is Biology =p but at least it is just one class.
Speaking of finals, they are part of the insane stress. I got an A in my speech class, but about an hour ago realized my paper for history was due at 11 est and I thought it was due at 11 ctl. UGH! I don't understand why the school doesn't have a standardized time that ALL CLASSES have to end and have materials by! It is so confusing! So needless to say I will probably get a 0 on it =/ which sucks. I Will get a C in the class and although that is all I need it still ticks me off. I only needed a 50 on the paper to get a B, which means I could have probably just submitted what I had finished at 11 and gotten a a B. Oh well, i guess we will see what happens but I am just so angry. I find it VERY upsetting that I can have an A on the midterm and high B on the final and get a C in the class. I guess I learned my lesson. I NEVER wait till the last day to do work! I should have finished it like I was suppose to and told myself I would yesterday.
To add to that. I think I am pregnant. And while the average person would be excited about this, and while I know if I really am I will be once I figure things out I am pretty stressed about it. I have an IUD, but can not find the strings...feeling funny. I know I want another child, but my husband is not on board. If I were pregnant I would due at the end of June, my sister gets married 10 hrs away on June 16th, when she got engaged I was instructed to loose 80lbs and grow out my hair so news that I would be due in 14 days and may be banned from travel will not go over well. I will say I will risk having a baby in my home city vs missing my sisters wedding..Just saying. Hopefully I am overreacting and I am not pregnant... I want another baby just not right now=/ not to mention I know it would stress my husband out right now. We are set to get out of the service next November. We are nervous about it as it is with the economy and world the way it is. Add a 3rd child to the list and that may be the push he needs to stay in for another 10 and I really do not want him to make that decision under pressure. Unless you have been married to the military, or in the military you really can not understand what it means. The amount of your own life you miss and the lives of your loved ones. If he decided to stay I would be sad because we would be headed farther away from family again, I would support him 100% but I want it to be something he decides to do, not something he does because of fear, or that may cause him to resent me one day. And although i don't think he would ever say he resents me, I would always fear it in my head.
Ugh so forget the fact that i am back to 222 (although that was just about 30 min ago I was at 219 this am). My brain is running in overload, stress is ramped.
So, I have decided OH WELL! I guess I got a C, not the worst thing ever. It is amazing how different it feels though when you are an adult and not a kid. I think I just take it more personal now I guess because besides chicken nuggets, couponinng, my chats with my friends at the gym, trying to balance a check book, cook, clean, fight the laundry war, it is the only real Brain challenge I have all week. but all I needed was a C so I have learned my lesson, no more waiting till Sunday night! I mean what a idiotic thing to do =/.
The pregnancy thing, well if I am I will just have to deal with it. But I will keep my fingers crossed that I am again one day, but hopefully just not today.
So new focus. I obviously can not control life. I think it is pretty apparent more and more each day. But what i can do is control what I eat!
Tomorrow is Monday and it is the 17th. So Here we go.
Weigh Ins will now be on Thursdays.
Tomorrow starts my 30 day Shred 2 work out a day 5 days a week goal.
Stick to my points for REAL! I am paying for the plan time to do the plan.
I feel pretty confident that I will be back to 218 in a day or so and most of i t is just eating poorly this weekend, but I want to be at least 210 by the time I go home for Thanksgiving and there isn't a reason i can't do that if I just don't get focused!!!
((HUG))
ReplyDeleteBreathe!
ReplyDeleteAnd contact your instructor. Explain the situation and relay your concerns. As a former teacher (at the secondary and college level), we are SO much more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt when you reach out. If you don't, your instructor will assume you just disregarded the deadline. Don't you want him/her to know you did not, that in fact you were just confused by the time zone confusion. It's worth a try!
And I have this to say about you being pregnant for your sister's wedding -- one, how dare she "instruct" you to lose 80 pounds. That's mean. A baby is blessing, no matter how untimely it is, and having you be major pregnant for her wedding should be seen as a blessing! I would have welcomed either of my sisters being preggers for my wedding. My best friend was 8 months along, and it was so much fun to have her be part of our wedding.
And last -- hang in there!
hugs xoxoxo
ReplyDelete